Britt Mc Henry

Britt McHenry

Did you hear most colleges and universities have suddenly and quite drastically dropped their tuition rates? We’re talking even Harvard’s gone down by forty percent!

The reason why? Well frankly, after Britt Mc Henry’s video rant went viral, college enrollments almost came to a stand-still and universities overall lost several millions in stocks alone.

Man, the damn woman, Mc Henry, just about caused the market to collapse once again!

So basically, would-be students were afraid of their impending educations-and potentially turning into fucking morons just like Britt Mc Henry!

I guess cliff notes, the jackets of books and googling Wikipedia-then plagiarizing every other word are important in some college curriculums; it evidently worked for Britt Mc Henry!

Guess who flew through their college classes-undoubtedly paying geeks to do her papers, the only class passed on her own-“How to be a Fuckin’ Cunt 101”?

-Britt Mc Henry, dip shit!

Did you know that as of late, many colleges and even some major universities such as Cambridge, Harvard and Stanford, will be offering a lower grade curriculum for slower students?

That’s right, the text books for these classes will be thin and have pop-up pictures with very short sentences.

These new curriculums were just put into effect quite recently and inspired by Britt Mc Henry.

But many deans are concerned that if she goes back to school, that those simplified courses will be too challenging for her!

Latest federal warning sent to all salons, hairdressers and retailers selling hair bleach:

Government advisory: Women who bleach their hair blonde may lose brain cells and become dumb as shit, just like Britt Mc Henry.

Did you hear that in a move paralleled only by the Watergate scandal, Northwestern University is feverishly in the process of destroying transcripts, records, bank transactions and other school records-all to destroy evidence that Britt Mc Henry ever attended Northwestern!

Did you hear that degrees are half off right now at Northwestern University?

Yeah, that’s right; seems a lot of students that were just about to start decided to pull out, once they got a load of alumni graduate Britt Mc Henry.

Turns out, lots of business has been lost. Tons of students are scared shitless they’re going to turn out dumb as fuck, just like Britt Mc Henry!

Talk about karmic retribution-

So, ESPN actually won’t be getting rid of Britt Mc Henry due to her bad mouthing the tow lot attendant. They’re going to be getting rid of her because viewers have sent in feedback that Britt’s so fuckin skinny her face looks old and skeletal. And they want younger blood in there; someone who has a backside and a real education!

Did you hear about the new I.Q. test out there?

Not only does it measure intelligence, it also measures insanity levels. How it’s done is, you get your car towed, then when you go to pick up your car, they film it, to see how you behave!

Did you know that TAMPAX is coming out with The Super Duper-Pooper Tampon?

Double sided, it’s inserted into both the vagina and asshole.

It was inspired after Britt Mc Henry. It’s for that special lady, that’s both a cunt and an asshole!

Did you know that Britt Mc Henry is now regretting her formal education?

She thinks that if she’d spent more money, it would have bailed her out of her viral video mess!

Britt Mc Henry is so dumb, that she thinks if she’d gone to Harvard instead of Northwestern, she wouldn’t be in her viral video predicament!

Yeah, well it finally happened. ESPN has tossed Britt Mc Henry out on her ass and on the curb.

There, she’ll finally get a real education. It’s called, “The School of Hard Knocks!”

Did you know that some big shot Hollywood director is going to make a crossover film, utilizing the 1950’s era-Marilyn Monroe period with the present-with Britt Mc Henry?

It will be called, “The Seven Year Bitch”.

Since distributors are already up his ass on it, the big shot director is already in talks for the second Marilyn Monroe meets Britt Mc Henry, especially seeing how Britt Mc Henry will be jobless and desperate soon.

This one will be called, “How to Fuckin Marry a Millionaire.”

After that, “The River of no Fuckin Return.”

And after that, because Britt Mc Henry and her lack of brains will surely squander everything she’s got-

Marilyn Monroe’s movie title that won’t need changing: “But Stop”.

And finally, when Britt Mc Henry has to resort to the oldest profession;

“The Prince and the Prostitute Girl”

Did you hear about the new Britt Mc Henry doll set for girls?

It comes with a Britt doll, pretty toy car, toy tow truck and a fat girl doll that girls can make fun of!